Ahh, the new Jennifer Aniston vehicle, yay! I haven't been this excited since seeing the trailer for Derailed!

Look, Vince is saying something.

"I'm leaving her for Brad and Angelina." I hear you Vince, even you can't save this movie, unless you take some of those guns you had from Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and use them on her. I'm telling you, I had sex with her once (check my blog), and all I can say; OVERRATED! She was hot as fuck in Rockstar, but totally not worth it! Nuts. She's fucked, it's all kept under wraps; Tom Cruise should hire her publicist, the guy is a genius.

And by the way, guy who helped my blog, it's Brangelina. Get it right, I invented it. They hired me to babysit their village of kids while they had wanton sex, and Zahara would throw up on the rug. Constantly. What do they feed it? (I hate kids, but I had to get close to perfection.)

Anyway, their house is SO big, I would forget where the vacuum cleaner was; it was just easier to say four syllables instead of six. I can only multitask so much. "Brangelina, Zahara's sick again." Brad Pitt would answer the door completey covered in red paint, smelling of turnips and KY. "Down the hall, to the right, walk down the flight of stairs, take the golf cart to the third shed on the right, the one by the petting zoo. We are busy right now; don't let this happen again. And stop calling us Brangelina!"

Well after a couple more interruptions from me I got fired from that dream gig, but they took my moniker and ran with it; I threatened to sue the pants off of them, and we "settled" out of court. I can't go into specifics; let's just say that for one night in February, "Angiraymond" ruled the roost.

This blog only 30% sucks, but that's the danger of technology; 20 years ago, you never would have heard from me, blame Bill Gates. I should rate my posts from now on. Feel free to contact me and tell me how good or crappy they really are. I will print and comment on the best responses.