Craigslist post – “futon mate to save money!”

Middle aged comedian come down on hard times, looking for “futon mate” to save money.

Did you know that NYC is the most expensive city in America, and the tenth most expensive place in the world? I think you’re smart, so let’s share living quarters and rake in the cash! I am seeking people not afraid of intimacy, as it is a studio. All living spaces will be shared.

Think of all the things you can afford. A new IPOD? Not a problem. You know what I see in your future? Manolo Blahnik’s. Just sleep on this



and you will be one step closer to your “Sex in the City” reality. Come on in, I’ve already broken it in for you.



Must be able to grab your butt at all times. Also, I don’t sleepwalk; but I do sleepfuck. Ask my ex-girlfriends. Also, I like to masturbate in the mornings to porn that denigrates women.

Oh by the way, the futon frame is broken, so we’ll have to pull the mattress to the floor every night. It’s like we are out camping! Yay!



So come on down ladies! Time to put your nose to the grindstone and think about your financial future!