I worship you this July. If you noticed, I haven’t stalked anyone in a while. It’s not because I’ve been a good boy; it’s just that no one has inspired me the way you do. You sexy republican hussy! Ann, I’m a registered Republican. We already have so much in common; we are meant to be one. I need you, and you need me.

I LOVED how you called for the execution of the editor of the NY times. Everybody wants someone dead; you just have the courage to admit it. What honesty! Fantastic! I am loyal to you beyond measure. I will kill Democrats and place their lifeless corpses on the shrine of Coulter if you wish it done, for I am your disciple.

And you shoot guns!



There's something about a woman with a gun. You make me want to strap on an M-16 and head to a Blue state high school. We can do it together! Let's turn those states Red! When your clip is empty, I’ll be right there, by your side, like it should be. I so want to party in your conservative ass! It WILL be so!

Some people say that you are not attractive, and those people are tree hugging hippies who wouldn’t know pure elegance if it hit them in their no death penalty, redundant diplomacy, throw a stupid yellow ribbon on a minivan, spending money like it's going out of style faces! They can’t handle a real woman who speaks her mind, and the only "ammo" they have to try to discredit you is to make fun of you in photos.



You possess a voluptous neck, therefore you must be a man. Ignore this petty nonsense! You know something, here's another lady with "something extra"...



...and I'd do her too! That's right Ann. Unsheath what you harbor in your nether regions and fuck me like the fake Republican I am! I mentioned earlier that I am a registered Republican. But I have to tell you this: I did not vote for Bush! There, I said it. I feel so ashamed. Punish me! Whip out that studly member and make me pay! I am yours, you are mine, you are what you are, and for the next thirty days, no one else shall have my heart.