I grew up in the Bronx and wasted a lot of my life, so I took my fake-Latin ass to Queens, where I'm mistaken for Greek on a regular basis. My family was the first Latin family to move in to an all white neighborhood, on the front lines of reverse gentrification.

I have written for National Lampoon Radio. I've appeared on Sirius Satellite radio. I have appeared in the Jack Daniels Latino Comedy Series. I think I am very funny. I know I am very, very broke.

I've played lead guitar in rock bands, wearing feather boas and eye liner. Wanna hear about it? I also have a disease called Myasthenia Gravis, which is usually no longer fatal to patients, but gave me some very interesting moments a couple years back. People like me, except for Puerto Rican girls, who hate my guts. I have a devilish charm and an off the cuff delivery.

I hate bios written in the third person, although I had one for years. I also don't believe my own resume. I believe the credits, but I don't believe the hype, meaning I don't take myself too seriously; there are a lot of unfunny people out there trying to make themselves look better than they actually are.

I’m on my way up, and I’m still searching…




Some Quotes On Ray

"If he was a comic in the early nineties, I might have never bought that shotgun" - Kurt Cobain

"Now that I dumped that faggot Nick, he's all mine" - Jessica Simpson

"The BEST lover I ever had" - Abby Scott

"I want to adopt him" - Angelina Jolie

"Yo, he not a real Latino yo" - Random bitch at NY Comedy Club